MISTAKES AFTER A BREAK UP WHICH SHOULD NOT BE DONE BY YOU BY LOVETADKA
The moments after a breakup can be very painful for both parties. If you make the mistake of texting your ex frequently or pointing out where they are, it will only make things worse. If possible, avoid talking badly about your ex or jumping into the dating pool before you're done as these are considered the fault of the experts after breaking up.
Rest rarely shows the best of anyone. When your heart is torn, you may be tempted to act in a way that makes you feel better temporarily but actually feels worse in the long run.
To make your separation as easy as possible, INSIDER consults with relationship experts and therapists to find out what people should avoid after separating. This is what you need to know.
DON'T CONTACT YOUR EX RIGHT AFTER BREAK UP FREQUENTLY
I always recommend, if possible, that you stay out of touch with your ex for 30 days after breaking up. By eliminating contact, this helps separate the separation. Contact during a breakup usually leads to difficult emotional feelings that usually lead you back to the healing process.
IF YOU NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EX DO IT VERY LESS
It's not always possible to completely cut contact with your ex, especially when kids are involved or working together. But even in this case you should try to keep your communication to a minimum.
Limiting communication to important matters minimizes the chance of disagreement, can help resolve conflicts, and limits your ability to say or write things that you may regret later.
Silence can be golden in the early stages of a goodbye. If you need to be connected, keep your communications short and factual.
DON'T TRY TO ACCIDENTALLY BUMP INTO YOUR EX
Leave your ex alone in the real world. Don't drive past their house, stay after church in the hope of "accidentally" running into them, going to a party where they have more friends than you, visiting your favorite restaurant, and so on. They deliberately gathered. It won't work if you meet by chance.
If you meet by chance, treat each other with the respect you can show the neighbors on the bus. Say hello, be polite, but don't try to get into an emotional conversation.
CARE FOR YOURSELF
Just as you don't expect to climb a mountain on a few hours of sleep and on an empty stomach, you shouldn't try to deal with a breakup without making sure your mental and physical needs are getting the attention they deserve.
Make it a priority that you take care of yourself. Focus on the basics. Eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, spend time outdoors, and stay hydrated. Besides, it looks different for everyone to take care of himself. Find out what is healthy for your mind, body, and soul and take the time to do it regularly.
If you have trouble getting out of bed or starting to meet your basic physical needs, this might be a good time to consult a psychologist to get back on the right track.
DON'T LOOK INTO YOUR EX'S SOCIAL MEDIA AGAIN AND AGAIN
Browsing your ex's social media feeds still makes you feel like a part of his life. All you do is grab emotional wounds.
Getting online a few days after breaking up is a great way to give yourself a little mental space to process your feelings and avoid emotional triggers. However, if you can't commit to staying offline for long periods of time, it's a good idea to do whatever it takes to free your online life from your ex.
Hide or at least stop tracking your ex's account. By hiding their presence on social media from your phone, you can set firm boundaries and not accidentally see something that brings you back emotionally.
DON'T BE FRIEND WITH YOUR EX IMMEDIATELY
Taking breaks can be especially difficult if your ex is your best friend. While it can be tempting to turn your relationship right away into friendship, trying too quickly can stop your healing.
We call them "gentle goodbyes" and they rarely happen. People need space and time to recover from a breakup and if they continue to talk to their exes, hang out with their exes, or bond with their exes, they usually pretend the relationship is continuing when it really isn't.
Now that you have given yourself time to heal and face the end of the romantic aspect of your relationship, I suggest that you consider bringing your ex back into your life in some form or another.
DON'T TRY TO BE BAD MOUTH YOUR EX WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Breakups aren't always forever, which is why insulting your ex with friends and family is rarely a good idea. While it may seem impossible when packing, there may be a day when you and your ex decide to get back together.
When this happens, you will be more uncomfortable and misunderstood by your friends and family than if you just kept your mouth shut.
She explains that because we usually want the people we love and trust the most to support our relationships, expressing how bad your ex is to your inner circle will cause a lot of tension and confusion. If you and your ex will one day be a problem again.
DON'T JUST STAY AT HOME
It's natural to need some time alone after an emotional breakup. However, you must not allow yourself to be isolated and separated from others in your life such as friends and family.
There is a lot of research showing that being close to other people makes you feel better and makes separating easier. Dating friends can help you understand things better and fill in the blanks that are missing.
Snuggling on the couch to watch reality TV and one more night of ice cream can be a catchy one when feeding a broken heart. However, trying to stay in touch with people who care about you can break up and take away the emotional support you need.
While friends and family can be a great source of support during a breakup, it's a good idea to seek help from a licensed therapist or other psychologist.
Seeking support from objective sources as a coach or therapist is a great way to start the healing process after a breakup. It's very useful to have a safe, non-judgmental space to navigate, feel, and express your true feelings.
There's nothing wrong with seeking professional help to clarify how you feel after a breakup.
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